Head vs Heart: Moving towards the wisdom that resides below the neck
‘Every decision I make is with my head.’
A client recently said to me ‘every decision I make is with my head’. Analysing, predicting, plotting, assessing, planning. Constantly and consistently, following the guidance of her head. And we all get it right? A lot of good can come from this place, considered, meticulous, thoughtful. But she was admitting that her heart - her feelings, her gut instinct, her soul desires - do not get a look-in. She does not invite them in, sit with them, willingly seek their counsel. In fact, she is so used to operating in this head-lead way that she doesn’t even notice the other nudges, the signposts. They have been muted for so long that their whisper has ceased to exist. And when it does? It is pushed to one side, squashed, ignored, so that the attention can focus on what the head is saying, rationalising, thinking.
The problem here is that the head is so influenced by our ego and our belief system. A belief system that has been created over our lifetime, within our culture, our patriarchal society, soaking up the beliefs of our parents (and their ancestors), our friends and teachers and the media that surrounds us. A belief system that we haven’t consciously created. This way of decision making does not reflect us as a human being. It doesn’t include and honour and respect what our inner knowing and our emotions have to say. That deep inner wisdom that resides within us, deep down, in our belly, in our gut, in our body. That feeling.
‘I’ve just got this feeling’ ‘there’s something that doesn’t feel quite right about this’ or maybe ‘I keep dreaming and washing for this thing’. All of these nudges are signposts, inner guidance. Only you know what is right for you. Even those people that you admire, love and respect the most don't feel the way you feel, or want and need the same things as you. You are a unique individual and accepting and respecting this - and your inner knowledge - will change your life.
If this is new to you and it feels impossible to suddenly change the way you make decisions, or you are not sure how to tap into your ‘inner knowing’ - I invite you to consider this question: What would you allow yourself to dream of if it got to be easy? If there were no obstacles in your way. If every barrier your head brought into play was moved to one side. What is it that your heart truly desires? Can you let yourself go there?
It is only by allowing yourself to dream, to connect with what you; individual, unique, special you actually crave and desire, what actually lifts your heart and heats your belly and inspires you to the point that you feel like you are dancing inside; it is only by giving yourself permission to go there that you can open the channels to your inner wisdom, to the nudges and niggles and signposts that reside within you, that must never be ignored. Once you allow yourself to dream, to be honest with yourself, to connect with your heart’s desires - then you are nourishing and massaging the portal that will begin to send you messages, begin to gather its voice, begin to be heard - however quietly - on a more regular basis.
How? It takes practice, and space and quiet to hear your inner wisdom:
One hour: Take a walk alone. Immerse yourself in nature, allowing the volume of your thoughts to reduce, and gently looking out for the deeper feelings / nudges / ignored thoughts to bubble up, welcoming whatever comes.
20 mins: Put pen to paper and get all the thoughts and feelings swirling around in your subconscious down - this can be very therapeutic and insightful - a brilliant way to allow yourself to connect into your inner knowing. Don’t think, just write!
5 mins: First thing in the morning, sit in peace and take a few deep breaths, place your hand on your heart and ask yourself how you are feeling, what do you need and invite whatever may come up for you.
This is not easy! Our culture promotes and rewards encourages us to lead with the head; to think, plan, plot and so little emphasis is put upon connecting to the wisdom of our body. When we are doing, being, trying hard, when there are a million distractions - there is no space, no quiet to be able to observe our feelings, hear the nudges that our inner wisdom wants us to hear. It literally requires dedicated intentional time alone to enable this connection to happen.
Give yourself permission to listen. Respect that your intuition is a very real thing. Possibly the most important gift that we all have within us. What does yours tell you? Allow it to be heard. Allow the gentle guidance to come through. Don’t ignore the nudges. Don’t squash it, whatever it is that you feel. Because this is about what is right for you. The choices and decisions that will enable you to be the happiest, most fulfilled, authentic version of you.
Our coaching supports you to gently work towards loosening the grip and influence that society has on your thoughts and beliefs around the type of life you should lead, the person you should be, how you should behave, what success looks like to others that you seek approval from. What if none of that was important or even true? What if the only wisdom and guidance you ever needed resided deep down inside you, in your heart, your soul, your gut. Please don’t ignore it. Try to resist seeking counsel and instead open up a dialogue with yourself. Because only your heart knows what you need the most.