If only I had time to do that...

Surely one of the most frequently uttered sentences in the English language.

“I wish I had time to do that” - to do more of that hobby I enjoy, to nudge that project forwards, to meditate, to read. Oh if only I had more time.

We hear other people say it and we hear ourselves say it!

The uncomfortable truth? 

We all have the same amount of time.

Of course circumstances vary wildly. But to a certain extent - how we spend our time……is a choice. 

WHAT?!?!

I know sometimes that feels hard to understand. Ten years ago when someone said that to me I wanted to poke them in the eye! My To Do list was never ending, I felt overwhelmed and I was doing my very best to keep the plates spinning. Certainly, it can take some time and a whole heap of reprogramming and reframing of belief systems to shift mindsets on this.

BUT - there are a couple of easy ways to start seeing where you DO have more agency over  how you invest your time than you might realise. We can lose sight of this, and life can feel like it is ‘happening’ to us if we don’t take very intentional action. Reframing how I looked at this has been a game-changing shift for me, so I hope this is helpful to you too. 

A note for parents: one of my beautiful clients who is a mother of two young girls recently said to me ‘I now realise it is so important to balance my needs and desires with looking after the wellbeing of my children. I hadn’t thought about how important it is to role-model that my own time and energy is valuable too; that this is what self worth looks like. I want my kids to be able to listen to and respect their own needs when they’re older so they need to see me doing this’ - amen!

How to create time for the things that light you up and replenish your soul.

Take an honest assessment of your time:

We all operate within our own routines, habits, ways of doing things. So much of it is pretty unconscious, it's just ‘the way it is’; we’re doing our best, there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of choice when there’s so much to get done. 

Start to get really honest with yourself about where your time goes. Reflect at the end of each day on how your time was spent - what were you doing and how long did it take? Where did you have a plan for yourself and what did you allow to distract you from it?

Take a look at your phone ‘screen time’ at the end of a week - as we pick up our phones throughout the day it feels innocuous but it all adds up - if your screen time is 6 hours, 1 of those hours could have been intentionally carved out of your day and used on something worthwhile. The reality of course is that with distractions and phones and social media etc that ‘time that you don’t have’ gets eaten up throughout a week anyway, and taking 1 hour to yourself to progress something important to you is likely to be doable. 

Do you flop down at the end of a long day in front of the TV for an hour? This is of course 100% understandable! Especially after a long day juggling, working, getting kids to bed. It is also a choice. It might be that you ear-mark one evening a week with no TV, and that you spend that evening doing a little of something for you, something you enjoy; something you usually feel there is no time to do.  

And then the biggie!

The mindset shift. Every single human, no matter their circumstances, has a ‘to do’ list with a hundred things on it. A list of things we each believe we should be doing, tasks that need to get done. A never ending list, let's be honest. 

First of all, challenge yourself about what is on that list. How many of the things on there are things you think you ‘should’ be doing? Who says?? Do these things really matter to you or are you doing them because they matter to someone else? Do those tasks need to be done today or could they wait for another day, even another week - as long as it's planned into your schedule and happens?

When prioritising your desires benefits everyone…

Picture something that feels important to you, something that you would love to spend more time doing, or a project you want to nudge forwards. 

Spending more time enjoying a hobby; maybe a sport or something creative. Unfortunately society has taught us that this is an indulgence, a luxury, something we can do only when we have ‘spare’ time. The truth is that it can re-energise you, meaning that when you come back to your work, your tasks, your family - you are more focused, productive and present - a win-win for everyone. But this is a huge shift in belief systems, it takes real determination to try this, to take notice of the outcomes, to respect yourself and your needs enough that prioritising your desires can actually be the best course of action for everybody! Revolutionary!!! 

This is a game changer:

The project that sits waiting. Let’s take my friend who has an idea for a kid’s book. They never move forwards with it because they are always drowning under a mountainous to do list. They have two young kids so it completely makes sense. 

Think about this: in 3, 5, 10 years time, when you look back, what will you be more disappointed that you didn’t do? The chores on the list or nudging along (and maybe achieving!) the project?

Let that feeling be your compass - the feeling of disappointment and regret that you want to avoid! And visualise the feeling as the project moves along and even completes. Let that feeling help you to make decisions about where you time goes. Let it help you be disciplined with how you invest your time - planned ahead, committed, refusing to be distracted. Asking for support from those around you. Saying ‘No’ or ‘not now’!

It could be as simple as - every Weds at 1pm I am going to dedicate 1 hour to that project. And suddenly each month 4 hours are being spent on it and it is progressing!! These seemingly small building blocks gently begin to form something bigger. You find that over 6 months you have spent 24 hours on something that otherwise was just a pipe dream, something you would have done ‘if only i had more time’.

Nobody has more ‘spare time’ than anybody else. We all have To Do lists that we each believe are important and unavoidable. This is about deciding what is most important to you and why. What is it that you want to progress and how prepared are you to commit to small pockets of time to nudge you forwards? Get clear on that, commit to pausing the To Do list for 1 hour, to focus on that important thing, and then joyfully pick up the To Do list 1 hour later. 

I’m not saying this is easy - far from it! We have all developed ingrained habits and ways of operating that make this challenging. But it is possible. We do have choices. 

Try these tips and let me know how you get on!

If you want to experience a life that contains MORE JOY, more of what lights your fire, more things to feel excited about, clarity on what does matter the most to you, and the steps to get you there, read more about Katy's coaching here.